WOW LADY! That was phenomenal. Maybe my favorite of yours so far? Is that possible with everything you've ever written that I've adored? But... I Love this piece. Would have been fun to highlight and respond to my favorite sections but I'll find one now I can highlight and restack!
I am not a poetry reader, but this year wanted to stretch myself to include it. I think my reticence stems from my only experiences of poetry being learning by rote - Keats and Rabbie Burns - at school. So I, a poetry newbie, loved this - the sound repetition, the imagery (especially loved the description of lack of those lights when the power goes out). Substack might make a poetry fan yet!
This is beautiful. The use of words to create the sense of motion and rhythm, the gathering of rhyming words which morph from one sound structure to another one - its relentless and then the blunt stop. Still trying to make a clear picture in my mind as to what's going on and what you are telling us... obviously the sea is there ... but is it a drowning for real or metaphorical. Splendid!
The joy of stream of consciousness for me is never quite knowing where things will end up. This is a metaphorical drowning - I often find myself writing about the sea and water. These days, I live about a 20-minute drive from the coast and in a landscape where there is quite a lot of water - we(s)t Wales - so maybe I was meant to be here all along.
it was beautiful - and yep Wales has plenty of water look you! we go from time to time. We also go to brittany - the sea is a powerful force isnt it - loved your poem. I rarely do it myself - great that the SoC brought this out of you - been mulling over my other prompts - waiting for one to catch - the Sail Fish Pew one from keith is calling me - maybe because of your poem...
My mum and step-dad love Brittany - it has a feel of our part of Wales to it, plus there are links between the Welsh and French language. For example, the word for bridge in Wales is bont or pont - and in French, pont. Difference in pronunciation, but practically the same word.
I couldn't stop thinking about how T.S. Eliot would use a nursery rhyme rhythm to make his poems even darker than they already were. Listen to him read "The Hollow Men" all the way through and you'll hear why I made the comparison. https://youtu.be/WAWaZqDf-VE?si=m1-ZCZOlY8Dy3_QD
Beautiful!
Thank you, Elena.
I loved this! Just incredible and delightful.
Thank you!
As if drowning’s been put into words
Thank you, Mahdi.
Loves this, how it urges, drags, and drowns. A poem with the weight of undertow!
Thank you!
WOW LADY! That was phenomenal. Maybe my favorite of yours so far? Is that possible with everything you've ever written that I've adored? But... I Love this piece. Would have been fun to highlight and respond to my favorite sections but I'll find one now I can highlight and restack!
Thank you so much! This is what happens when my I let my brain wander without inhibition.
I am not a poetry reader, but this year wanted to stretch myself to include it. I think my reticence stems from my only experiences of poetry being learning by rote - Keats and Rabbie Burns - at school. So I, a poetry newbie, loved this - the sound repetition, the imagery (especially loved the description of lack of those lights when the power goes out). Substack might make a poetry fan yet!
lovely
Thank you!
A raw, powerful dive into the depths of the mind, Zivah!❤
Thank you :)
The ending! I felt such a 'vacuum' while reading it - in a good way.
This is beautiful. The use of words to create the sense of motion and rhythm, the gathering of rhyming words which morph from one sound structure to another one - its relentless and then the blunt stop. Still trying to make a clear picture in my mind as to what's going on and what you are telling us... obviously the sea is there ... but is it a drowning for real or metaphorical. Splendid!
The joy of stream of consciousness for me is never quite knowing where things will end up. This is a metaphorical drowning - I often find myself writing about the sea and water. These days, I live about a 20-minute drive from the coast and in a landscape where there is quite a lot of water - we(s)t Wales - so maybe I was meant to be here all along.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Nick. Thank you.
it was beautiful - and yep Wales has plenty of water look you! we go from time to time. We also go to brittany - the sea is a powerful force isnt it - loved your poem. I rarely do it myself - great that the SoC brought this out of you - been mulling over my other prompts - waiting for one to catch - the Sail Fish Pew one from keith is calling me - maybe because of your poem...
My mum and step-dad love Brittany - it has a feel of our part of Wales to it, plus there are links between the Welsh and French language. For example, the word for bridge in Wales is bont or pont - and in French, pont. Difference in pronunciation, but practically the same word.
What a journey. I saw the entire inner world of humanity!
It’s amazing where you can go with three words and a pen! Thank you!
Your SOC piece felt like a gallop and you cleared some fuckin' hurdles!
"zephyristic" held my eye like nothing else. Well done, M'Lud.
Brilliant, dark lines in this one Zivah.
I miss my fucking Medium highlighter, lol. I tried to quote share on the phone app, but it wouldn't let me. So I manually restacked with note...
Thank you! I still miss the highlighter function, but less so now. It will pass 😂
Share quote is a bit hit and miss, I’ve found. Who knows why?
I couldn't stop thinking about how T.S. Eliot would use a nursery rhyme rhythm to make his poems even darker than they already were. Listen to him read "The Hollow Men" all the way through and you'll hear why I made the comparison. https://youtu.be/WAWaZqDf-VE?si=m1-ZCZOlY8Dy3_QD
I know this poem but have never heard him reading it. Thank you for sharing that link - it was like a hammer, listening to it.
I’m honoured by the comparison. I play with rhythm and message a lot in the poetry I write.
Fuck yeah. This was amazing. The momentum was *chefs kiss* love love loved it.
I had cramp in my hand by the time I’d finished handwriting it. Thank you!
I love your mind’s eye of wrath, Zivah! One of your best.
Thank you! 😈